Ranting on rudeness
Do you think it would be rude if I came to you and asked: "Just wondering, but can you tell me if your marriage was a mistake?"
What if I asked whether your hair was really supposed to be that hue of orange?
Did you mean to be so average in your job?
Is it an accident that you're such a lousy parent?
Why did you marry such a stinky jerk?
I'm pretty sure if I asked you any of these things, I'd get:
A) A slap in the face;
B) A well-deserved verbal licking;
C) Disowned;
D) The silent treatment.
And yet, maybe because I'm so nice, or maybe because I don't have much of a backbone, I have listened to many people - I lost count after the number hit 10 - ask me perhaps the rudest question I've heard in my life and I don't want to hear it again.
Men and women, young and old, have heard my happy news that I'm pregnant, leaned in too close, looked around to see who's listening, and whispered: "Was it intentional? I mean, did you plan to have a baby?"
What is the proper response to that?
Do you think I'm going to tell an acquaintance that yes, indeedy, me and the boyfriend drank too much one night, came home, and oops, produced a baby?
Or am I supposed to proclaim my love for my partner and go into great detail about how in love we are, and yes, it's true, this child was well-planned, fully thought out, and more wanted than any other child on this Earth?
It's perhaps the rudest thing anyone has ever asked me.
And I'm not sure why I get the question. I think it could be because some see me as a cold career woman who's blinded by the light of success. Others, who don't know me well, hear me talk about my purple hair and my knee-high suede boots and think I'm conceited and too full of myself to care about a child. But my No. 1 theory about why people have the gall to ask me the question is, I'm not married.
Whatever the reason, it's inappropriate so I have an offer for you: Don't ask me whether my baby was a mistake and I won't ask you why you choose to wear pants that creep up your butt.
It's none of your business and it's none of my business either.
.
What if I asked whether your hair was really supposed to be that hue of orange?
Did you mean to be so average in your job?
Is it an accident that you're such a lousy parent?
Why did you marry such a stinky jerk?
I'm pretty sure if I asked you any of these things, I'd get:
A) A slap in the face;
B) A well-deserved verbal licking;
C) Disowned;
D) The silent treatment.
And yet, maybe because I'm so nice, or maybe because I don't have much of a backbone, I have listened to many people - I lost count after the number hit 10 - ask me perhaps the rudest question I've heard in my life and I don't want to hear it again.
Men and women, young and old, have heard my happy news that I'm pregnant, leaned in too close, looked around to see who's listening, and whispered: "Was it intentional? I mean, did you plan to have a baby?"
What is the proper response to that?
Do you think I'm going to tell an acquaintance that yes, indeedy, me and the boyfriend drank too much one night, came home, and oops, produced a baby?
Or am I supposed to proclaim my love for my partner and go into great detail about how in love we are, and yes, it's true, this child was well-planned, fully thought out, and more wanted than any other child on this Earth?
It's perhaps the rudest thing anyone has ever asked me.
And I'm not sure why I get the question. I think it could be because some see me as a cold career woman who's blinded by the light of success. Others, who don't know me well, hear me talk about my purple hair and my knee-high suede boots and think I'm conceited and too full of myself to care about a child. But my No. 1 theory about why people have the gall to ask me the question is, I'm not married.
Whatever the reason, it's inappropriate so I have an offer for you: Don't ask me whether my baby was a mistake and I won't ask you why you choose to wear pants that creep up your butt.
It's none of your business and it's none of my business either.
.
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