Bye bye, baby back bacon
If you believe all the crap in celebrity magazines (which I do) Hollywood's new mommies are having one heck of a time dropping the baby weight.
Gwyneth Paltrow is stressed about trying to drop the last 20 of the 40 pounds she gained with her son, Moses who was born in April. She's going on some veggie cleansing diet to shed those bits of cellulite.
Former Miss USA Shanna Moakler, who just got booted from Dancing with the Stars last night, said the reality show was great for her because she lost seven of the pounds she'd gained with her seven-month-old daughter Alabama.
Mariska Hargitay, who plays detective Benson on Law & Order SVU, last month said she had to find a dress for the Emmy awards that accommodated the extra baby weight she was still carrying around since she gave birth to her son, August, in June.
I, Sarah Crosbie, also a new mommy, have one thing to say to these girls.
Sucks to be you.
Before I got pregnant, I was a slender five foot four inches tall and 148 pounds. Sure, my thighs jiggled more than Jell-O and I still had some extra back bacon but I felt pretty confident about myself.
In 2001, after I graduated from university, I went through a bit of a, well, let's call a thing. I wasn't depressed but I wasn't Miss Sunshine, either. I'd just finished university and was desperately lonely without all my school friends. I'd been hired at The Kingston Whig-Standard newspaper full time and even though I was thrilled about a full-time journalist gig, I couldn't help but feel letdown that I'd reached the place I'd been supposedly working toward since my first day of kindergarten. Every day, I'd think "Now what? This is it?" And, I was going through some relationship crap. Plus, I had just gotten my first car and so I was driving everywhere. Walking? Who needed to walk when you can drive?
So I comforted myself with McChickens and super size fries many nights - after dinner - and packed on the pounds. I ballooned to 178 pounds and even though I put on a brave face, I felt like a big, fat piece of crap in my size 14/16 clothes. A few more pounds and I was going to have to shop at the big girl store.
I lost the weight over the years and regained my self-confidence (my father actually thinks at times I gained a little too much of it) and when I got pregnant, I decided I was going to do my darndest to not pig out and gain 60 pounds. I didn't want to one day have a five year old and still be talking about my quest to lose the baby weight.
So I was vigilant.
I ate little meals throughout the day. I drank eight bottles of water a day and cut back on my Diet Cokes - hey, when you usually drink six or more a day, cutting back isn't so hard. Every time the boyfriend and the kiddies ate ice cream, cookies, cinnamon buns or any other sweet junk, I'd say "thanks but no thanks."
Starting when I was three months pregnant, I took a two-hour pre-natal yoga class once a week at the Yoga and Relaxation Centre and in the last few months of my pregnancy the boyfriend and I went for long walks at night.
I ended up gaining 25.5 pounds (yes, 25.5, not 26.) Which means, nine months pregnant, I weighed 173.5, which is less than my big year in 2001.
And now, three weeks since popping out Little Man, I have already lost 19.5 pounds.
SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO.
OK, one more time: Six more to go.
This is the best diet I have ever been on:
a) Give birth to 6 pound, 13 oz baby.
b) Lose placenta
c) Lose waters
d) Lose blood, water, other bodily fluids
e) Breastfeed and burn up to 500 calories a day
Voila! You lose 19.5 pounds in just a couple of weeks.
Perhaps I could have lost the whole shebang if I didn't have such a voracious appetite right now. My lovely neighbours brought over homemade brownies (thanks Marg and Karl). I had four of them as an appetizer to our chicken finger dinner.
I've had fun eating but now it's time to burn off those extra back bacon folds and fight to regain my pre-pregnancy body.
So, yes, I'm a little smug right now but that's only because I've battled my weight my whole life and now, for the first time, I can say: Take that, skinny bitches! I'm winning the post-partum chunky challenge and damn it feels good.
Halloween: That's my goal. I will be my svelte self (with jiggly thighs and a little back bacon) again. That's approximately one pound a week...
There's only one problem: Anyone know how to get rid of a mommy pot belly?
Gwyneth Paltrow is stressed about trying to drop the last 20 of the 40 pounds she gained with her son, Moses who was born in April. She's going on some veggie cleansing diet to shed those bits of cellulite.
Former Miss USA Shanna Moakler, who just got booted from Dancing with the Stars last night, said the reality show was great for her because she lost seven of the pounds she'd gained with her seven-month-old daughter Alabama.
Mariska Hargitay, who plays detective Benson on Law & Order SVU, last month said she had to find a dress for the Emmy awards that accommodated the extra baby weight she was still carrying around since she gave birth to her son, August, in June.
I, Sarah Crosbie, also a new mommy, have one thing to say to these girls.
Sucks to be you.
Before I got pregnant, I was a slender five foot four inches tall and 148 pounds. Sure, my thighs jiggled more than Jell-O and I still had some extra back bacon but I felt pretty confident about myself.
In 2001, after I graduated from university, I went through a bit of a, well, let's call a thing. I wasn't depressed but I wasn't Miss Sunshine, either. I'd just finished university and was desperately lonely without all my school friends. I'd been hired at The Kingston Whig-Standard newspaper full time and even though I was thrilled about a full-time journalist gig, I couldn't help but feel letdown that I'd reached the place I'd been supposedly working toward since my first day of kindergarten. Every day, I'd think "Now what? This is it?" And, I was going through some relationship crap. Plus, I had just gotten my first car and so I was driving everywhere. Walking? Who needed to walk when you can drive?
So I comforted myself with McChickens and super size fries many nights - after dinner - and packed on the pounds. I ballooned to 178 pounds and even though I put on a brave face, I felt like a big, fat piece of crap in my size 14/16 clothes. A few more pounds and I was going to have to shop at the big girl store.
I lost the weight over the years and regained my self-confidence (my father actually thinks at times I gained a little too much of it) and when I got pregnant, I decided I was going to do my darndest to not pig out and gain 60 pounds. I didn't want to one day have a five year old and still be talking about my quest to lose the baby weight.
So I was vigilant.
I ate little meals throughout the day. I drank eight bottles of water a day and cut back on my Diet Cokes - hey, when you usually drink six or more a day, cutting back isn't so hard. Every time the boyfriend and the kiddies ate ice cream, cookies, cinnamon buns or any other sweet junk, I'd say "thanks but no thanks."
Starting when I was three months pregnant, I took a two-hour pre-natal yoga class once a week at the Yoga and Relaxation Centre and in the last few months of my pregnancy the boyfriend and I went for long walks at night.
I ended up gaining 25.5 pounds (yes, 25.5, not 26.) Which means, nine months pregnant, I weighed 173.5, which is less than my big year in 2001.
And now, three weeks since popping out Little Man, I have already lost 19.5 pounds.
SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO. SIX MORE TO GO.
OK, one more time: Six more to go.
This is the best diet I have ever been on:
a) Give birth to 6 pound, 13 oz baby.
b) Lose placenta
c) Lose waters
d) Lose blood, water, other bodily fluids
e) Breastfeed and burn up to 500 calories a day
Voila! You lose 19.5 pounds in just a couple of weeks.
Perhaps I could have lost the whole shebang if I didn't have such a voracious appetite right now. My lovely neighbours brought over homemade brownies (thanks Marg and Karl). I had four of them as an appetizer to our chicken finger dinner.
I've had fun eating but now it's time to burn off those extra back bacon folds and fight to regain my pre-pregnancy body.
So, yes, I'm a little smug right now but that's only because I've battled my weight my whole life and now, for the first time, I can say: Take that, skinny bitches! I'm winning the post-partum chunky challenge and damn it feels good.
Halloween: That's my goal. I will be my svelte self (with jiggly thighs and a little back bacon) again. That's approximately one pound a week...
There's only one problem: Anyone know how to get rid of a mommy pot belly?
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