Why don't you love me anymore, BF?
Regrets in life? I have a few but one of my biggest is that every time I've had my heart broken, I've gone into a fit of rage, desperation and sadness and thrown out every card, love note, gift, trinket, movie stub, piece of jewelry, dinner receipt and photograph from our time together.
The purge feels great at the time but then days, weeks or months later, I regret tossing the stuff. I always wish that I could look at the discarded memorabilia and reminisce about the good times and the bad times. The souvenirs are like medals of bravery, of survival. Maybe it would even be good stuff to show my children one day to soothe their broken hearts - something that says I survived this ugly breakup, you will, too.
I thought I'd tossed everything from all my past relationships until the boyfriend and I moved this spring. I was unpacking boxes of books when six pages fell out of a book and fluttered to the ground. It turned out to be a note I wrote to an ex-love. I'd obviously decided for some reason not to give it to him and I'd tucked it inside an encyclopedia.
Now, in order to protect this person's identity, I've taken his name out of the letter and deleted some details.
Here's what I can say:
1) The letter was written to a boyfriend who I did love very much;
2) The relationship took place sometime in the last 10 years;
3) I think it's valuable to show you the letter because it shows that the Celine Dion gospel is true. Your heart will go on. I am madly in love again and this one is The One.
And, if the intended recipient of this letter reads this post, then he gets to know he was once very loved by me and it's always nice to be loved by someone, right?
OK, ladies and gentlemen. Be prepared to see a very pathetic, in mourning, devastated, sad girl - but feel free to giggle – it's just so over-the-top sad and pathetic.
After this week's very sappy post Little Man, Big Tears, I decided we needed something a little sassy.
So, here you go. I give you The Letter.
"Dear Boyfriend,
I never thought I'd ever have to do this. My heart is broken, I feel crazy and my hopes are dashed.
I don't know why but I know you don't love me like you used to.
Something snapped in you during [A RECENT] weekend. It was like you instantly decided you wanted a different life than the one you and I had always talked about.
I also know you lied to me. I know you told people about your plans to move ... before me. It kills me that you don't want to confide in me.
What hurts the most though, is that I have to beg and tug on you for affection ...
I don't know what else to do. Your interest in me is obviously waning.
I've tried everything and given it my all. When the marriage talk scared you off, I changed my way of thinking and decided that if you needed four more years, I could give you that.
You asked me to stop constantly analyzing our relationship. I did that too.
You told me you wanted me to be more independent - hanging out with my friends more. I've done that too.
I know you're struggling with things but nothing I'm doing seems to make you want to reconnect with me.
You know something is different.
I know something is different.
Now, I think you owe me an explanation of what went wrong.
I guess I just don't know why you tell me things like "I'm the best girlfriend in the world" and "I'll love you forever" but then your actions say otherwise.
I don't know what else to do.
I just don't know what to say anymore.
Sarah"
The purge feels great at the time but then days, weeks or months later, I regret tossing the stuff. I always wish that I could look at the discarded memorabilia and reminisce about the good times and the bad times. The souvenirs are like medals of bravery, of survival. Maybe it would even be good stuff to show my children one day to soothe their broken hearts - something that says I survived this ugly breakup, you will, too.
I thought I'd tossed everything from all my past relationships until the boyfriend and I moved this spring. I was unpacking boxes of books when six pages fell out of a book and fluttered to the ground. It turned out to be a note I wrote to an ex-love. I'd obviously decided for some reason not to give it to him and I'd tucked it inside an encyclopedia.
Now, in order to protect this person's identity, I've taken his name out of the letter and deleted some details.
Here's what I can say:
1) The letter was written to a boyfriend who I did love very much;
2) The relationship took place sometime in the last 10 years;
3) I think it's valuable to show you the letter because it shows that the Celine Dion gospel is true. Your heart will go on. I am madly in love again and this one is The One.
And, if the intended recipient of this letter reads this post, then he gets to know he was once very loved by me and it's always nice to be loved by someone, right?
OK, ladies and gentlemen. Be prepared to see a very pathetic, in mourning, devastated, sad girl - but feel free to giggle – it's just so over-the-top sad and pathetic.
After this week's very sappy post Little Man, Big Tears, I decided we needed something a little sassy.
So, here you go. I give you The Letter.
"Dear Boyfriend,
I never thought I'd ever have to do this. My heart is broken, I feel crazy and my hopes are dashed.
I don't know why but I know you don't love me like you used to.
Something snapped in you during [A RECENT] weekend. It was like you instantly decided you wanted a different life than the one you and I had always talked about.
I also know you lied to me. I know you told people about your plans to move ... before me. It kills me that you don't want to confide in me.
What hurts the most though, is that I have to beg and tug on you for affection ...
I don't know what else to do. Your interest in me is obviously waning.
I've tried everything and given it my all. When the marriage talk scared you off, I changed my way of thinking and decided that if you needed four more years, I could give you that.
You asked me to stop constantly analyzing our relationship. I did that too.
You told me you wanted me to be more independent - hanging out with my friends more. I've done that too.
I know you're struggling with things but nothing I'm doing seems to make you want to reconnect with me.
You know something is different.
I know something is different.
Now, I think you owe me an explanation of what went wrong.
I guess I just don't know why you tell me things like "I'm the best girlfriend in the world" and "I'll love you forever" but then your actions say otherwise.
I don't know what else to do.
I just don't know what to say anymore.
Sarah"
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