Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me
I've used it as a rainjacket. So has the BF.
Once, it was a picnic blanket.
I think I used it to wrap breakables once when I was moving after I ran out of wrapping paper, Kleenex, toilet paper, bubble wrap and towels.
Once during a big fight with the BF, I got all defiant and refused to sleep in our room with him. Thinking, 'I'll show him,' I took the couch. (The first and last time that's happened, I'll tell you.) I was so stubborn that I refused to go back in our bedroom for blankets so I just pulled out all my jackets from the closet. It may have been in that pile.
But yesterday, something miraculous happened.
At exactly 9:45 a.m., I used my running jacket as, wait for it, a running jacket.
Well, a power walking jacket is more like it but it was the first time I've ever used it for exercise.
I got it for Christmas in 2002.
As part of Operation Smokin' Body, I have joined a power walking/conditioning class.
If you're pregnant or you've just had a baby, you should check out a group I found called Body Now 4 Mums run by a lovely drill sergeant named Tracie Smith-Beyak.
I didn't even know Kingston had a training group that focuses on pre and post-natal workouts until I saw a picture of some women (rock on, girls) working out in my very own paper.
Every Wednesday, we lunge, squat (damn you squat! - hey, doesn't that sound very Lady Macbeth-ish?) power walk, walk stairs, stretch and have some gab time.
And it kicks the crap out of me. Just cause ya pop out a babe eight weeks ago doesn't mean Tracie - who, by the way, did 2,000 crunches last week, which is double the amount Former Abs Queen Britney Spears used to do in a week - is going to be kind.
She kicks our butts and let me tell you ... mine spread out during pregnancy so I need some serious butt kicking and toning.
So, why go through the torture of working out just weeks after giving birth:
1. You have a responsibility to yourself to look and feel good;
2. You have a responsibility to your child/children to look and feel good;
3. You have a responsibility to your man/woman to look and feel good. This one actually may be the most important because - stay with me, folks - if you don't look and feel good, your man/woman won't dig you, want you, do you, which means, you won't feel good - so what's the point of working out halfheartedly and not seeing any results? Nothing really. That's why I like the thought of Tracie going all G.I. Jane on my butt over the next few months and going full throttle.
No man says "Hey! I've got a great idea. I want to be with a frumpy hag, who only wears pink flowered track pants, which hopefully hug her mommy belly and are so tight, her underwear is cutting each bum cheek in two. Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll never do anything with her hair. She'll only wear it in a ponytail in a big scrunchie. (A shoutout here to Carrie Bradshaw.) And, if there is a God, she'll buy and wear Crocs in every single colour. But most of all, please let her be 17 pounds overweight and totally out of shape. A guy could only be so lucky ...")
You were hot when you met him/her and so you have a responsibility to keep your hotness. Forget aging gracefully. It's all about the god damn lunges.
Don't you think fewer people would have affairs if their lovers didn't let themselves go?
I do. Maybe that stings, but it's a cruel, cruel world, people.
Next week, I'll be back in my running jacket, hoofing it up the stairs and lunging my heart out.
It's survival of the fittest.
And here is the rest of it.
Once, it was a picnic blanket.
I think I used it to wrap breakables once when I was moving after I ran out of wrapping paper, Kleenex, toilet paper, bubble wrap and towels.
Once during a big fight with the BF, I got all defiant and refused to sleep in our room with him. Thinking, 'I'll show him,' I took the couch. (The first and last time that's happened, I'll tell you.) I was so stubborn that I refused to go back in our bedroom for blankets so I just pulled out all my jackets from the closet. It may have been in that pile.
But yesterday, something miraculous happened.
At exactly 9:45 a.m., I used my running jacket as, wait for it, a running jacket.
Well, a power walking jacket is more like it but it was the first time I've ever used it for exercise.
I got it for Christmas in 2002.
As part of Operation Smokin' Body, I have joined a power walking/conditioning class.
If you're pregnant or you've just had a baby, you should check out a group I found called Body Now 4 Mums run by a lovely drill sergeant named Tracie Smith-Beyak.
I didn't even know Kingston had a training group that focuses on pre and post-natal workouts until I saw a picture of some women (rock on, girls) working out in my very own paper.
Every Wednesday, we lunge, squat (damn you squat! - hey, doesn't that sound very Lady Macbeth-ish?) power walk, walk stairs, stretch and have some gab time.
And it kicks the crap out of me. Just cause ya pop out a babe eight weeks ago doesn't mean Tracie - who, by the way, did 2,000 crunches last week, which is double the amount Former Abs Queen Britney Spears used to do in a week - is going to be kind.
She kicks our butts and let me tell you ... mine spread out during pregnancy so I need some serious butt kicking and toning.
So, why go through the torture of working out just weeks after giving birth:
1. You have a responsibility to yourself to look and feel good;
2. You have a responsibility to your child/children to look and feel good;
3. You have a responsibility to your man/woman to look and feel good. This one actually may be the most important because - stay with me, folks - if you don't look and feel good, your man/woman won't dig you, want you, do you, which means, you won't feel good - so what's the point of working out halfheartedly and not seeing any results? Nothing really. That's why I like the thought of Tracie going all G.I. Jane on my butt over the next few months and going full throttle.
No man says "Hey! I've got a great idea. I want to be with a frumpy hag, who only wears pink flowered track pants, which hopefully hug her mommy belly and are so tight, her underwear is cutting each bum cheek in two. Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll never do anything with her hair. She'll only wear it in a ponytail in a big scrunchie. (A shoutout here to Carrie Bradshaw.) And, if there is a God, she'll buy and wear Crocs in every single colour. But most of all, please let her be 17 pounds overweight and totally out of shape. A guy could only be so lucky ...")
You were hot when you met him/her and so you have a responsibility to keep your hotness. Forget aging gracefully. It's all about the god damn lunges.
Don't you think fewer people would have affairs if their lovers didn't let themselves go?
I do. Maybe that stings, but it's a cruel, cruel world, people.
Next week, I'll be back in my running jacket, hoofing it up the stairs and lunging my heart out.
It's survival of the fittest.
And here is the rest of it.
Labels: BF, Little Man, relationships, smokin' body
9 Comments:
Where does it say, "I'll only love you and stay with you if you look like you did when we met." Health issues, stress, lifestyle changes, etc. can all change a person's appearance, and to suggest that just when you really need a hug and your 'friend' - they're off looking elsewhere suggests a lack of trust and insecurity. More power to you for getting fit, but many of us have fought the bulge for years and trust our partners love us the way we are, for who we are.
anonymous, you said that much more eloquently and politely than I would have.
shame on you, sarah.
wow. what a horrible comment to make. maybe you should take a walk in someone else's shoes before being such a bitch.
Wow. No need to swear.
Have you ever met me? Seen me?
I'm no Heidi Klum.
I'm simply saying that as women (strong women) we are in control of how we look and how people respond to us.
Appearance is always a major issue with women. If we were truly confident in ourselves we wouldn't drive culture to be about beauty.
Do you know how many shows are about getting redone - 10 Years Younger, What Not To Wear, The Makeover Story, Extreme Makeover, The Swan, The Biggest Loser. Plus, every daytime talk show has the makeover segment. We, women, make these shows popular because we watch them, apply to be on them, cheer for the women when they do look 10 years younger.
For the record, I think beauty is about looking unique and I think we have to make the most of what we have. I do not however support anything unnatural such as botox or plastic surgery.
I think the most sad thing is Ashlee Simpson used to look unique with her larger, crooked nose. Now, after plastic surgery, she looks like a Barbie doll.
And I don't care what any of you say: Crocs are ugly.
I do not think cheating is as much about a partner letting themselves go, as you referred. I think the problems are usually bigger than that. (Look at Christie Brinkley and Carmen Electra.)
I also think that when you have more children, go back to work, balance doctor's appointments with hedge trimming, etc. that your body restoration goals will probably take less priority.
Maybe ... but I know one thing.
I don't do hedges!
sarah :)
I believe that any man worth marrying wouldn't leave a woman because she's gained afew pounds or has quit buying the designer jeans and getting expensive hairstyles in order to put that money towards the happiness of her children and husband. I admitt that if my partner gained a large amount of weight I wouldn not find them as physically attractive, but I like to think that I would stand by them and help them become healthy again.
Some selfish people (men & women) contiunally feel the need to look for the 'next hot thing' - spouses inculded - which is very sad because I doubt these people will ever be content and will probably cause a lot of people pain along the way.
There are many reasons a relationship ends but it seems pretty shallow if it's based only on appearances.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
To the anonymous poster who put a message here at 1:08 a.m.:
I deleted you.
There's a No. 1 rule in journalism: You only write what's true. You posted lies about things you have absolutely no idea about. If you have a beef with me, e-mail at sarah@sarahcrosbie.com.
But a few things:
1. Sorry, I actually don't have stretch marks on my stomach as you so meanly say I do.
2. You say I look more like Rosie O'Donnell than Heidi Klum.
Well, I Lloooovve Rosie O'Donnell. She's funny, a billionaire, a mommy and she's got a talk show.
3. If you don't like this blog, stop reading it. I'm not forcing you to log on here every day.
This a fun place. Your post was mean.
So, you get deleted.
Have a nice day.
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