Two-faced Sarah Crosbie (Pretty Ugly)

Before I had a baby, I'd always look at the pictures of celebrities in the fashion and gossip magazines who looked perfecto just a few weeks after having their babies. Their stomachs would be flat, their skin perfect, their hair flowy and gorgeous and their clothes ripped from the runways.
"It's so easy!" I thought to myself.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha. (That's me laughing at myself right now).
Monday to Friday, I do it up. I wear clean (sometimes even ironed) clothes. I style my hair and put on lipstick and mascara. (I dropped eyeliner earlier this year, since I think it saves me a couple of minutes each morning, which I can use to eat cereal or watching Toopy and Binoo.) But on weekends? Oooo, I'm ugly. Or "f-ugly" as the kids would say. No makeup. I don't do my hair and I'm always in runners. But some mornings, it's worse than ugly. Some mornings like in the pic above left, I'm that "Fat Celebrities Without Makeup, Caught on the Beach With Blubber and Celulite Hanging Every Which Way" mother. See this pic you young, unmarried, childless girls? This is what motherhood looks like. It's not pretty, but it's the truth.
However, please see what a little makeup, hair putty and sleep can do for you (right). I'm a freakin' supermodel. I'm just like that Evolution Dove commercial, really. Pretty on the inside, and on the outside? It depends – on the day, on the mood, whether or not I just happen to be posing for my wedding photos.
But know this mothers: We all have our good days and bad days.
I guess what I'm saying is, when you feel ugly? Think of me.
We all have our moments. Good and bad.